Dance Like a Whore to Lose Weight

I just saw the best commercial! It was for instructional DVDs on how to lose weight...by dancing like a whore! Some titles of the DVDs are "Just Teasing," "Chair Dancing" and "Beginner Pole Dancing."

I am so going to buy "Booty Beat." Seriously.

Just call my name...I'll be there

Michael Jackson passed away yesterday. I cried driving home from work as all the radio stations played his songs. When I got in the door, I told my mom that Michael Jackson died. Kaia asked me who Michael Jackson was. I told her that he was a great musician. How else can you explain to the younger generation who this legend is?

Today, I was watching The Jackson 5 sing "I'll Be There" on youtube. My daughter ran over and excitedly exclaimed, "I know that song!" It's one of the songs on her Wii Music games. After watching The Jackson 5 sing it, I found a clip of the grown Jacksons singing it on their Victory tour, and told her that that man singing is that boy grown up. (I also had to show her Jermaine because she was asking about him, too). I then showed her the "Beat It" video and she smiled and remembered it from Guitar Hero.

My five year old already knew The King of Pop's music.

It's One A.M.

Well, more like 1:12 according to the computer clock. And I can't sleep.

My five year old daughter told me that she doesn't need a story before bed. Nor does she need me to cuddle with her while she falls asleep. She's five now, she said. I am devastated.

This is a girl to whom I've read a story to every single night since she was a baby. This is a girl who has always slept in my room up until a couple of weeks ago, whether it be in her crib, or my bed, or her bed in my room. This is my baby whom I've held while she fell asleep. This is a girl who asked me just the other week to cuddle with her for a few minutes before bed.

And now she fell asleep all by herself. In her own bed. In her own room across the hall. I waited up for her, with my light and tv on, should she get scared and change her mind and tell me she needs a story and me to lay with her in order to fall asleep. But she never came. Instead, I stood in front of her door about 10 minutes ago, listening to her snore.

I am heartbroken.

Swamped

I have a ton of work to do. A TON! And it's not like it's hard work. Nor is it all work that was just heaped on me in one moment. It's stuff I let pile up. And up. And up. Every day I'd tell myself, "I'll get it done tomorrow." But then tomorrow would come, and I'd repeat the same thing, "I'll get it done tomorrow." And the pile just keeps growing.

The thing is, though, that it is very hard right now for me to be motivated. There are serious rumors floating around that the company might go kaput. And since I work in Accounting and am privy to some information, a lot of that information seems to support that rumor. And I know it's good to have a good work ethic regardless. But I can't seem to make myself work. Instead, I stuff a Dove chocolate in my mouth. Or see what new furniture has been posted on Craigslist.

I went to lunch today with the husband and told him about my problem. I have work. It's not that hard, but I can't force myself to do it. I asked him if there was a word for that. His reply? "Lazy."

I tell ya, that man has got me pegged.

Oh-oh, New Hobby Urge Alert

A few years ago when the husband got me the DSLR that I've been wanting for Christmas, I was really into photography. I looked up (and bought) a bunch of lenses, read several books, I even started to take a class (but dropped it because the teacher was just too into herself and I wound up trying to explain to my classmates what ISO, shutter speed and aperture meant and how they were related because the teacher was too busy bragging about all of her jobs. I remember during one class she was explaining a picture she had taken in which she photoshopped a picture of the Virgin Mary onto it. She said the Virgin Mary came to her and told her to put her in the picture. I busted out laughing. Unfortunately I was the only one and the teacher shot me the evil eye.).

Anyway, when we bought our house back in October 2008, we had tile put in the kitchen. However, I had them stop up to a certain point because I wanted to extend the laminate floors in the family room. Basically I wanted a smaller eat-in area in the kitchen and a larger family room. The guy who did our tiles said he'd do the laminate for $500. Unfortunately we were poor after spending all that money on the tile, and doors, and crown molding and I can't even remember what else.

Well, we had been living with a 4'x15' concrete area in between the kitchen and family room for the past 7 months. But no longer! I found the matching laminate at Lowes and just finished putting the transition trim on last night! (All that's left to do is attaching and painting the baseboards and quarter-rounds now.) I was so proud of myself. The husband helped install the laminate, but I did all the rips. (haha, don't I sound so professional? I was reading a tool forum this morning and all the guys were saying "rips" instead of "cuts." Okay, I'm not even sure the two are synonymous. For all I know rips could mean something else entirely.)

But now I've got that itch. We bought a miter saw to cut the boards. It was super scary at first. But now I want more power tools! I want a table saw, a router, some chisels, and I'm sure a hundred other things I haven't researched yet. I was fantasizing this morning about me building a workshop barn that you see at Lowes that my son has been always asking for. Instead of shelling out the 3K it would cost, it would only cost us the cost of the lumber since I'd be able to do everything myself!!! And then I imagined it crooked and collapsing on top of the boy. Okay, baby steps, maybe I'll start with my own sturdy work bench. We actually bought a cheap one, but after putting it together, and putting my saw that didn't fit on it, I realized how tiny it was.

Okay, now how to break the news to the husband that I want a table saw...

I got stung on the eyelid - Now I'm ugly!!!

Argh!!!!! This is what I get for being a good mom!

The kids saw one of their playmates outside. After I put some clothes on them and went outside, their playmate had already gone inside, but the kids wanted to stay out to play anyway. Even though we live in a cul-de-sac, I stayed outside to watch them to make sure they didn't get into trouble.

I sat on the porch step and my daughter started to sit next to me until she said she saw a bee and ran away. I saw a wasp wriggling on the ground, which was odd. It was on it's back and looked like it couldn't get up. Because I'm a wuss I called my mom and asked her to come out and kill it. Well, she stepped on it and that was that.

Anyway, we stayed out for a little bit, but I yelled at the kids that it was time to go in because of my allergies and my eye was itching. Well, I looked in the mirror and the inside of my left eyelid was swollen. An hour later half of my eyelid was swollen. Approximately 3 hours later and the entire lid is swollen. I expect the whole eye to swollen shut by tomorrow morning.

Now I don't even remember seeing the wasp flying around, let alone land on my eyelid and sting me, but what else could it be?

I look like a monster! And I've missed so much time at work the past few weeks that I have to go to work tomorrow. Argh! This sucks majorly!

Jury Duty and Two Haunted Kiddie Chairs

I got called in for jury duty yesterday. I seriously thought about just not going. I means what the worst that would happen? I'd get arrested once I get stopped for something by the cops? But the husband, who avoids unpleasurable things like the plague, suggested that I just suck it up and go. So I went.

Downtown Martinez is the cutest little place. It surprises me every time I go there. It only spans a few blocks, but it just looks so neat. I got there early, about 12:30 and didn't have to be there til 1 so I killed time in this cool little antique-y/flea market type shop. I remember buying my favorite necklace there several years ago. Anyway, I saw a pair of cute little kid chairs and planned on going back after jury duty.

Jury duty was pretty uneventful. I found a chair away from people and just as I was getting comfortable, some sweaty, b.o.'ed infused guy sat behind me. I sat a few minutes wondering what the proper etiquette time was before I could safely move without it seeming rude. But too many whiffs made me not care and I moved to a desk area off to the side. They showed us some video of people super happy to share their *wonderful* jury experience, but it was just so annoying so I put on my earphones and watched Family Guy on my iPod.

At about 2 o'clock I thought I would lose my mind from the waiting and the boredom. At about 2:30, while I was watching a second episode of Family Guy, I faintly heard a man talking. I turned around and it was the judge talking to us. He thanked us for coming and apologized fto those looking forward to serving and telling the rest of us that it was our lucky day and we should go buy a lottery ticket. One of the attorneys had gotten sick and had to be rushed by ambulence to the hospital. So we were all dismissed. I swear I was the only person grinning from ear to ear after this news. I don't know how people did not skip down the halls like I did after being set free.

I went back to the antique shop, which by the way is run by a pair of these incredibly cute old ladies, and bought my chairs. My kids liked them okay and played with them for about 2 minutes when I brought them home. Later at night, I looked at the empty chairs sitting there side by side and it kind of creeped me out, like perhaps they used to belong to some kids a way long time ago, but now they're ghosts. I don't know why my mind works this way.

Oh, yeah, and I did buy 5 quick-pick lottery tickets on my way home.